A guide to responding in the moment and planning ahead to prevent future crises
When someone we care about is experiencing a mental health crisis, it can feel overwhelming to know what to say or do. Moments like these often call for a steady presence, clear communication, and a plan that honors the individual’s desires. At Michigan Minds, we believe that anyone can be a source of support during a crisis with the right tools.
That support becomes even more important when we recognize that a crisis isn’t always a one-time event. After all, recovery isn’t always a straight line. Steps forward are sometimes followed by setbacks or pauses. Moments of crisis, when someone may be at risk of harming themselves or others and needs urgent support, are not uncommon. That’s why we recommend preparing in two ways:
- Have a moment-to-moment response strategy for when a crisis unfolds.
- Develop a long-term safety plan that can reduce the likelihood or severity of future crises.
Responding in the moment: the CALMS approach
When someone is in crisis, staying calm and supportive can make all the difference. CALMS is a simple tool that can guide you through the moment with compassion and clarity. Each step is designed to help reduce distress, promote safety, and create space for connection.
CALMS stands for:
Create calm
Assess the situation
Listen for emotion
Move toward de-escalation
Simple directions
C — Create calm
Before offering help, check in with yourself. Are you grounded and calm? Aim to model a sense of safety and regulation that the other person can mirror. You might start with deep, slow breaths or soft, steady tones. If the person is highly activated or energized, you may need to match their energy just slightly to build rapport before guiding the interaction to a calmer place.
A — Assess the situation
Try to understand what’s going on by observing the person’s behavior and environment. Is there immediate danger? Are others involved? Ask open-ended, nonjudgmental questions to explore what led up to the crisis.
Example: “You seem really upset about what happened. I want to help—can you tell me what’s going on?”
L — Listen for emotion
Often, simply feeling seen and heard is a powerful first step in de-escalation. Validate their emotions without offering solutions or worrying about the details, even if their thoughts seem unusual or distressing.
Example: “I hear that you’re scared because you think people are watching you. That sounds overwhelming.”
M — Move toward de-escalation
Collaborate on small next steps. Offer a couple of options and respect their autonomy. This helps restore a sense of control.
Example: “Would you like to take a few breaths with me, or step outside for a moment?”
“Can we talk through what might help you feel safer right now?”
S — Simple directions
When someone is in crisis, the brain is often in survival mode. Use clear, brief, and calm language. Avoid overloading them with too many choices or lengthy conversations.
Example: “I’m going to sit right here with you.”
“Let’s walk to the kitchen and get some water.”
Safety planning for long-term crisis prevention
While CALMS can help in the moment of a crisis, long-term support often includes safety planning — a strategy that helps individuals identify what helps them stay well and what to do when they’re not. Safety plans are personalized, strengths-based, and created in collaboration with the individual, respecting their wishes and viewpoints.
A strong safety plan might include:
- Early warning signs of crisis (e.g., the signs or experiences that signal an oncoming crisis)
- Internal coping strategies (e.g., deep breathing, listening to music, going to a particular space)
- People to reach out to (friends, family, providers)
- Steps to create a safe environment (e.g., preferred communication strategies, things that help achieve calm, etc.)
- Crisis resources, like 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or local crisis support
Whenever possible, try to collaborate as a family (including chosen family) to understand what is most helpful in a crisis. Respect the individual’s preferences about what they’d like to share, and let them lead. Even when you’re not directly involved in crafting the plan, knowing it exists—and being ready to reinforce it—can make all the difference.
If you or your loved one is a current participant in a Michigan Specialty Care program and want to talk about safety planning, reach out to your team.
Supporting someone in crisis doesn’t require being a professional. It requires presence, patience, and practice. Using CALMS and encouraging safety planning are two powerful ways to show up with compassion and clarity when it matters most.