Jamorra’s story is for anyone who’s ever felt behind, out of place, or overwhelmed by expectations. She talks openly about mental health struggles, seeking support, and learning to live her life with more grace and less pressure to prove herself.
Content Note: This story includes discussion of suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 for free & confidential support
Searching for Belonging After High School
After I graduated from high school, things really started to change for me. I realized that my talents alone weren’t enough to make me feel fulfilled. I graduated late, and I didn’t have the friendships I wanted. I started pursuing my theater career, but I was also working in home health care. While that job helped me grow and taught me a lot of patience, it also aged me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. It’s a blessing now, but at the time, it was a lot to carry.
Graduating late was also the first time I ever considered not wanting to live anymore. It felt like I couldn’t join a lot of social groups. I used my talents as a way to pursue happiness, but eventually I realized that still didn’t make me feel fulfilled. I didn’t want a life where the only thing people saw was my talent.
After high school, I really wanted friends. I wanted to be around different people. I didn’t have any dating experience, and once I started dating, I thought that would validate me. I wanted what I thought was a “normal” early-20s experience, and I was doing everything I could to pursue that—while still holding onto the identity of being a successful, talented playwright.
What Helped Me Survive the Hardest Moments
When things were at their hardest, my sister and my mom were my biggest supporters. My family was a healthy support system for me. I also went to church a lot, where I could just sit in the sanctuary and cry.
I also called 988 a lot – so much that I felt like I knew the hotline workers. That experience made me care more deeply about mental health, because I realized that people don’t always understand where struggles really come from. It’s not always what’s happening on the outside. It’s what’s going on inside.
My family, my faith, and my church kept me going. And interestingly, my patients did too. Even though home health care was one of the biggest stressors in my mental health, I met so many elderly people who were suicidal. That gave me a different perspective on how I want to live my life and taught me a lot of patience.
Regaining My Balance
I started therapy, but once the pandemic began, it became difficult to maintain. Outside of that, I started working out, which helped. I also spent a lot of time daydreaming. At the time, it was one of the only things keeping me going, even though I later realized it could be harmful.
The pandemic was really hard on me. I couldn’t do plays anymore, and I didn’t have a fulfilling social life or meaningful connections. Theatre had always been a joyful, positive outlet, so without it, all I had left was the stressful job in home healthcare.
I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time and struggling with my body image. It was my first real romantic experience, and I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how to express myself, communicate, or recognize unhealthy situations.
Choosing to Live My Life
Things started to change when I began college. But more than that, they changed when I decided I wanted to live my life, no matter what.
I realized that some experiences give you memories, but they don’t always add up to a meaningful life. I have sacrificed so much of my life to succeed in theater, and while it’s still a huge part of who I am, it has thrown things off balance. Looking back, I can see how much time I spent chasing things (and people) that weren’t chasing me back.
I used to think a lot about protecting “baby Jamorra.” Then my sister said something that changed everything: “What about protecting granny Jamorra?” I don’t want to reach old age weighed down by pain I never learned to release. Life is meant to be lived fully.
Where I Am Now, and Where I’m Going
I’m currently in college, and it’s helped me develop impulse control and emotional regulation. I still deal with hard things, but they don’t hurt my heart the way they used to. I live transparently now, without shame. I can talk about my past without pain.
Looking ahead, I have a few goals. I want to study nutrition, because mental health isn’t only emotional—it’s physical too. What we eat affects our brains, and I want to help people understand how food can support mental wellness.
I also want to speak publicly and live openly, especially in Black communities where mental health is often kept secret. I want to talk about the things people avoid—mental health, hygiene, identity—so others don’t feel alone. When I was struggling, I searched endlessly for people who talked honestly about what I was going through. Representation really matters.
More than anything, I want to live a life focused on joy, not proving myself. I don’t want to sacrifice myself for a dream. I only have one life.
What I’d Say to Someone Struggling Right Now
If you’re in high school or college and struggling, I’d tell you to give yourself grace. Life needs to be lived. What you’re going through will one day be part of your story.
When things feel overwhelming, look for moments of joy. Create routines that bring you peace. When life feels hard, I cook meals that make me feel like I’ve traveled somewhere new. I also give out 30 genuine compliments a day.
Sometimes we want comfort so badly, but giving warmth to others, even when you’re struggling, can bring joy back to you too.